Last friday I received a call that my caller ID indicated was coming from Lenoir, NC. “Lenoir, NC?” I pondered. “Who the hell do I know in North Carolina? Um, I’ll just let it go to voicemail….meh, what’ve I got to lose.”
I answered the phone. On the other end was……….an investigator from the agency searching for my birth mother. (I bet you were expecting me to say it was my birth mother.) So she introduced herself and explained the initial process had begun and assured me she would not stop looking until my case was solved. She added that in her 10 years as an ivestigator she had not left a case unsolved. That was reassuring…but wait, this is the third person I’ve spoken to regarding my search back in early December. The first person, I learned through Friday’s caller, was the sales contact; I shoulda known.
The sales contact explained the company’s services, pricing, etc., then asked me for any non-identifying information I had to share. I gave her the basics that I know including, among other things, where I was adopted from, physical descriptions of my birth parents, and the fact that apparently my birth mother had named me Elvis (mentioned in a previous post). All of the information was exciting news to the sales contact and I was given the impression that things would move pretty quickly.
“I’ll submit your information and once we receive your signed contract your case will be opened…so, you should receive a call or email around Dec. 15 from one of our investigators and things could start moving so be sure to check your email often and have your phone close. We even have an expert in Texas adoptions working for us, in Texas.”
Well, a week after the 15th I was contacted by the second person who was my case manager who said she would be my contact person which led me to believe the search had started. Then silence; until last Friday with the call from NC. This caller explained that she would now be my primary contact, that the first person I spoke to was the sales representative and the second person was actually the owner of the company, which, by the way, is in Florida. I am trying to be very Zen about all of this and fighting the urge to call shenanigans; my contract with them is for 6 months, I think I can make it.
Meanwhile, with searching for my birth parents on my brain, I’m reading an article about twins in National Geographic. Now, being adopted I’ve often wodered about the whole nature vs. nurture thing, and well, this article just fueled that fire. I’ve known for a long time that I don’t look like either my mom or my dad. I grew up noticing my dad’s big nose and acne on my cousins and was thankful I had dodged those bullets. I also noticed in my cousins the desire to perform and/or be in the limelight, just like my dad, that I did not share. So it’s with that history a read about twins in National Geographic that were raised apart.
One of the many cases the article discusses is of a pair of twins who though raised apart turned out to have been given the same first name by their adoptive parents; ok, that’s shear coincidence, I’ll give you that. But both twins were the same height and weight, had dogs as kids they named Toy, married women named Linda divorced and married women named Betty. Both had sons and gave them the same names. Both shared the same occupation at one point, enjoyed the same hobbies, smoked the same brand of cigarettes and drank the same beer. Weird. Raised apart, but very similar lives.
So, just how much of me is my genes? I still lean more toward most of me being from the nurture/environment side. But damned if I’m not curious about the genetic side 🙂