There I sat, engaged in some business in the unisex staff bathroom when I suddenly came extremely close to on of my “using the bathroom at work” fears; the door was unlocked. “Holy shit!” (pun intended) “What if someone comes in?!” Locking the door has become so automatic I thought I had completed the task. It’s usually just a deft motion as I close the door behind me. It wasn’t like I could just leap up from what I was doing to lock the door (it’s a few steps away). Fortunately it was after school so few people were around, and I did manage to squeeze in a moment to get up and lock the door. Phew.
As I returned to my business I had to laugh at myself and wonder what would’ve happened if someone had opened the door while I was attempting to lock it, drawers dropped, one hand holding them so as to keep them from the floor; hilarity would have ensued I’m sure; for one of us. That thought reminded me that I have started keeping a list of things I say to myself that if heard out of context make no sense or could conjure all kinds of double entendres. (Not that I go around talking to myself, but it happens sometimes while I’m working, or just puttering around the house, driving….wait, maybe I do talk to myself a lot. Oh, like you don’t). For example, one which I did not say but overheard, on a field trip to San Francisco yesterday I walked up to a few students who were conversing and heard, “…and I call him my little Hanky Panky.” These are seniors mind you. I gave the student a tilted head raised eye brow look, and said, “Um, what now?”
“My little cousin, Hank, I call him my little Hanky Panky.”
Ah, ok. Somehow finding that out made me feel stranger. I actually think this kid was clueless as to the meaning of hanky panky. A little farther along our group passed a juggler. Upon seeing said juggler one of the girls says, “Wow, he can really handle those balls.” She completely intended that pun. So here are some of the things I’ve said to myself recently:
“Why does it hurt so much after I do this?”
“Man it’s hard to get an extra ball!”
“Now I lost my train of thou… no I didn’t.”
“Wonder what made them decide, “We’ll put blowers in those but towels in these?”
“Oh, that’s the wrong button, that’s why…”
“Let me make sure there aren’t any more Popes…”
“Where the hell are my pants?!”
“Is it wrong to want a baked potato right now?”
“…oh, ’cause I’m doing the wrong thing.”
If you can guess the context of any of those I have some Brownie points with your name on them; or some wild snipes! Meantime here’s a few shots from the City:
Killianville 
My guess : did the baked potato one follow a conversation about the irish potato famine or something? 😀 and a lot of things seniors say are weird even when you know the context …
Actually it was on my drive home and I noticed a truck full of cows next to me.