$15,000 Cat Chronicles – Worst. Housemates. Ever.

I have had housemates that, among other things:

  • used the same sponge to wash dishes as clean the bathroom
  • tried to reheat black bean soup that had dried out after being left on the stove for a week
  • burn all of the firewood for winter in one week
  • not use dish soap to wash dishes
  • not do laundry long enough to stink up the house
  • let candle wax drip down a bookcase onto the carpet
  • punch holes in a wall
  • eat the last of any number of food items I had bought
  • drank my last beer

I have not had housemates that:

  • drag their ass on my carpet; well, at least not their nude dirty ass
  • stick their face in my glass/coffee cup
  • walk on the kitchen counter with their dirty feet, or with clean feet for that matter
  • walk on EVERYTHING with their dirty feet, or with clean feet for that matter
  • not bury their shit (ok, human housemates don’t usually shit in a way that necessitates burying)
  • tried to sit, or lay on me whenever I’m not moving around
  • rub constantly against my legs (insert own joke here)
  • scamper directly in front of me feigning attempts at running away but actually being kicked by me instead
  • shed everywhere
  • jump up on everything, (this does not include obese kitty, fatty cat jump, she can bounce when startled though

Some may say I’m being too harsh on my feline charges, especially when I show them pictures like this:











Or this:











Or this:









“Awww…” they say.

Or, “So, cute.”

To that I say, “C’mon over!  Sleep on my carpet, drink from my glasses, make a sandwich on my kitchen counters, all the while enjoying the fragrance of my eco-friendly cat scented boxes.”

My brother cannot return soon enough.

Ok, this one’s kinda funny, make up your own caption:

photo (5)


One thought on “$15,000 Cat Chronicles – Worst. Housemates. Ever.

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